The Byrchen Twigges

Hot take: it's like a princess party, but not. Instead of an Ice Princess_tm or the like coming over to be beautiful and sing songs with the Disney serial numbers filed off, it's from Terry Pratchett's Discworld. And your party host, to guarantee a magical time, is Nanny Ogg. Here's what you can expect:

Your Witch's Arrival 

Nanny Ogg reels up in a cabbage cart pulled by goats and greets the Birthday Victim with "Wotcher! Where's the grub!" She proceeds to look over the Birthday Victim and ask some embarrasin' personal questions.

Story Time

Nanny Ogg will treat you to the story of how she became a witch, the doings behind the lace curtains in the cottage across from her, and seventy-four daguerrotypes of her stickiest grandchild, Pewsley.  You may make requests. Nanny will not take them, but you can ask. 

Special Witches Brew!

Based on the Birthday Victim's age, body-fat ratio, and how often they're seen down at 't local, Nanny will make a special Witches' Brew from what you have in your cellar and garden. Each brew is different - perhaps there's mushrooms or banananananas for an extra bit of magic! Bottles with XXX on the label guarantee magic. 

Sing Along

Once the Birthday Victim and other guests are nicely stimulated, Nanny Ogg will lead them in rousing renditions of Discworld favorites, like "A Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All" and "A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End." There may be further embarrasin' personal questions, at a louder volume.

Cake

Nanny Ogg assumes that the Birthday Victim is providing cake. Be advised that Nanny Ogg's favorite type of cake is Lots. 

Advice

Oh, sure, your princess type comes along with sparkle and some lippy to pat on the littlies' faces and make 'em princessy too for a day. Which, Nanny admits, is about all that there is to a certain kind of princessin'. But once Nanny is ballasted with cake and most of the guests are in an int'resting state, Nanny will go sit in a quiet corner and answer your embarrasin' personal questions. Discreet, like. You won't be a witch by the time you've got your advice, but you will know how to make things happen. Which, Nanny knows, is its own type of witchery. 

The Magical Finale

Perhaps there'll be a shindy between some guests with a long-standing argument, better to get these things over with Nanny always says. Or perhaps some other guests will take Nanny's advice right away and indiscreetly. Jason Ogg might come by to pick up his mum. If he's got his shirt off that's a treat and a half for anyone so inclined. 

Nanny guarantees that someone will be seeing stars by the end of the party, maybe even the Birthday Victim. They will definitely will come away from their party with a shiner or a tattoo or some new house goblins as a memento of their lovely time with Nanny Ogg.

Whatever happens, your magical Nanny Ogg party will leave behind memories that will last a lifetime! Maybe longer, if a good solid feud gets started.
Make the magic happen and schedule your party today. Nanny hasn't had a good cake since last Octeday.